Hey what's that I spy? A sniper rifle lying on the floor... just there, by the crate of ammunition. Should I take it? Should I trade in this sub-machine gun?
Of course, all veteran gamers know PICK IT UP! The introduction of a new weapon usually means that along your linear path through this game's world you are about to run into some enemies who are a long way off.
I spy some enemy soldiers over on that bridge, they are a jolly long way off...
Just bumped into some C4 / demolitions kit? Prepare for some structures that need blowing up. Did you just find a box of grenades? I'm sure you can practically smell the large groups of enemy soldiers meandering across the undulating path of your near future.
Hmmmmm.... i've just picked up a resist fire potion... but where do I go from now...?
Sometimes the last item you picked up can provide you with pointer as to what to do next. Just picked up a mirrored shield? See that beam of light? How about reflecting somewhere? A classic example of this kind of predictable gameplay is in Zelda games, especially the Ocarina of Time. Witness time and again the new item to tackle new problems gameplay, but do not despair, the way that this game slowly lures you through from beginning to end with many hours of gaming inbetween sailing by like shadows on the riverbank at night time.
It's a fine line between leading you by the hand, slowly introducing weapons/skills/spells etc when required by the gameplay and giving you all of the toys from the beginning and leaving no new experiences to be had later in the game.
Still, GavinoX is glad that he is playing the games, not making them because they are damned when they do, and damned when they don't.
Thanks for reading.
GavinoX
Wednesday 3 June 2009
Thursday 21 May 2009
Unofficial Law of Gaming # 5
No matter how trapped you are, even by burning buildings on all sides, with shark infested waters beyond the flames and an electric fence in front of the only bridge, there's always a way out... simply look for a convenient lull in the flames, or check your pockets for a handy helicopter.
In fact, no situation is ever hopeless, no matter how bleak. Just as the building you are in starts to collapse, look around and you will see a ramp to another building, or a helicopter swooping low enough for you to just about get you hands on.
If gaming has taught me anything about hopeless situations, it's that there's always a way out.
In fact, no situation is ever hopeless, no matter how bleak. Just as the building you are in starts to collapse, look around and you will see a ramp to another building, or a helicopter swooping low enough for you to just about get you hands on.
If gaming has taught me anything about hopeless situations, it's that there's always a way out.
Monday 18 May 2009
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you The Cole Train!
Time to give out some due credit here, one of the best characters to emerge from the haze of the gaming maelstrom in recent years is Gears of War meat-head Augustus Cole.
From his awesome rant on the microphone to the Locust (Gears 2) to the Cole Train rap (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPk1LtESE-U) this character is genuine let your hair down entertainment. Voiced by Lester Speight, a former (none NFL) American Football player and wrestler is rumoured to be reprising his role as the tough talking grub killer in Gears 3 (predicted release date 2010).
"YEAH! Bring it on sucka!"
The Gears 2 cut scene where The Train despatches three locust in quick succession is simply brilliant and somes up this character's appetite for destruction. His merciless hatred of the Locust allied to his famous "thrashball" playing ego makes him a joy to watch.
However, if you had to take one example of The Cole Train (woooooo!) and his attitude, look no further than this cut scene:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPk4Kx8s3PU&feature=related (Skip to the one minute mark if you want to get straight there)
GavinoX hasn't enjoyed a character this much for a long time and it goes to show that Epic's attempts to create an interactive movie, rather than a game, is the way forward.
GavinoX doffs his beret to the team at Epic.
You can't stop the train baby!
Unwritten law of gaming #4 : Water can be as deadly as lava to a character who can't swim, instant death is assured, even when in calm waters
From his awesome rant on the microphone to the Locust (Gears 2) to the Cole Train rap (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPk1LtESE-U) this character is genuine let your hair down entertainment. Voiced by Lester Speight, a former (none NFL) American Football player and wrestler is rumoured to be reprising his role as the tough talking grub killer in Gears 3 (predicted release date 2010).
"YEAH! Bring it on sucka!"
The Gears 2 cut scene where The Train despatches three locust in quick succession is simply brilliant and somes up this character's appetite for destruction. His merciless hatred of the Locust allied to his famous "thrashball" playing ego makes him a joy to watch.
However, if you had to take one example of The Cole Train (woooooo!) and his attitude, look no further than this cut scene:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPk4Kx8s3PU&feature=related (Skip to the one minute mark if you want to get straight there)
GavinoX hasn't enjoyed a character this much for a long time and it goes to show that Epic's attempts to create an interactive movie, rather than a game, is the way forward.
GavinoX doffs his beret to the team at Epic.
You can't stop the train baby!
Unwritten law of gaming #4 : Water can be as deadly as lava to a character who can't swim, instant death is assured, even when in calm waters
Wednesday 29 April 2009
Seth? What sort of name is that?
Despite not possessing a particularly menacing name Seth has proven to be a genuine master of frustration in the excellent Street Fighter IV. GavinoX found himself warned within seconds of purchasing the game that "Seth will eat you" and "you really should buy another joy-pad because you'll soon be throwing one against a wall or through the nearest window."
"Ha! Talentless fools!" mocked GavinoX in response, "I'll defeat this Seth and bring you back his head on a stick" (in a scene remarkably reminiscent of the Monty Python and the Holy Grail, "There's the monster!" "What, behind the rabbit?" "It IS THE RABBIT!!!!").
Seth has since proved to be a worthy opponent, dishing out multi-hit dragon punches, double sonic booms and random quick-fire teleports interspersed with a sickeningly nasty uppercut/spinning pile-driver combo throw. His abilty to initiate literally unstoppable combinations of powerful moves has driven gamers to dispair (and online to the relative safety of xbox-live challenges) since the day he was forged in the very depths of hell itself.
Obviously in theory anyone should be able to defeat him with enough time on their hands; as the law of averages always applies, but in this instance the law itself gave up long ago in frustration. The only way you stand a chance of beating this monster is to figure out the best time to attack. Sit back for a few bouts and just try to defend his attacks, only then will you notice the chinks in his armour; the way he is vulnerable to air attacks while using his gravity pull, the way that he rebounds off the back wall and lands in perfect range for a crouch H-kick etc. Do not be fooled however that these are not gaping "look at my red spot -> shoot here" opportunities, they are genuinely mere cracks on the dam wall. Target these opportunities and you wil triumph... if not straight away... maybe by the time you're beard starts to turn grey... what do you mean you've not started shaving yet?
"Hey you, what's that in place of your lower intestine?"
The reason for Seth's apparent all-conquering power? GavinoX can only speculate, but being silver, bald and with a name like Seth and having a large spinning ying/yang orb in your abdomen must have been difficult at school...
"Ha! Talentless fools!" mocked GavinoX in response, "I'll defeat this Seth and bring you back his head on a stick" (in a scene remarkably reminiscent of the Monty Python and the Holy Grail, "There's the monster!" "What, behind the rabbit?" "It IS THE RABBIT!!!!").
Seth has since proved to be a worthy opponent, dishing out multi-hit dragon punches, double sonic booms and random quick-fire teleports interspersed with a sickeningly nasty uppercut/spinning pile-driver combo throw. His abilty to initiate literally unstoppable combinations of powerful moves has driven gamers to dispair (and online to the relative safety of xbox-live challenges) since the day he was forged in the very depths of hell itself.
Obviously in theory anyone should be able to defeat him with enough time on their hands; as the law of averages always applies, but in this instance the law itself gave up long ago in frustration. The only way you stand a chance of beating this monster is to figure out the best time to attack. Sit back for a few bouts and just try to defend his attacks, only then will you notice the chinks in his armour; the way he is vulnerable to air attacks while using his gravity pull, the way that he rebounds off the back wall and lands in perfect range for a crouch H-kick etc. Do not be fooled however that these are not gaping "look at my red spot -> shoot here" opportunities, they are genuinely mere cracks on the dam wall. Target these opportunities and you wil triumph... if not straight away... maybe by the time you're beard starts to turn grey... what do you mean you've not started shaving yet?
"Hey you, what's that in place of your lower intestine?"
The reason for Seth's apparent all-conquering power? GavinoX can only speculate, but being silver, bald and with a name like Seth and having a large spinning ying/yang orb in your abdomen must have been difficult at school...
Tuesday 7 April 2009
Real World Pain vs Virtual Pain
GavinoX recently had the misfortune to snap his achilles tendon whilst jumping on a koopa-trooper. Unlike the (not-so) mighty Achilles himself, Gavinox did not die from his injury. If you have no idea what i'm referring to then take a minute to google "Achilles the Warrior" and have a look at one of the greatest mythical warriors of all.... well mythical, times.
If you decide that you might want to leave the comfort of your gaming chair/sofa/bean bag for some "exercise" you might choose to do a real world version of your games. For instance, it is possible to participate in Fifa/Pro Evo inspired games of "Football". This will involve re-enacting onscreen movements, but to a much more basic and clumsy degree whilst in an open space. Whilst participating in one of these "sports" you might find that you experience pain, which a doctor will tell you is a physical version of the injuries experienced by your onscreen counterparts.
Despite your initial joy at the realism of "pulling a hamstring" you will probably soon tire of the injury and inevitably realise that re-enacting computer games is a bad idea. Whilst your onscreen player might be injured for "three weeks" this normally equates to around 20mins in "real time" but if your doctor tells you three weeks he means REAL weeks.
Additionally, your onscreen athletes don't have the inconvenience of 6hrs waiting in the hospital Emergency Room for the diagnosis, surrounded by screaming children and people carelessly passing out and spreading their blood liberally on the furniture.
GavinoX took his Nintendo DS along but was unhappy to be disturbed by a nurse at a key moment.
GavinoX would like to issue the following warning: Telling a nurse that you will "be there in a minute" is frowned upon in the Emergency Room environment. Despite the fact you have waited 6hrs the nurse will expect you to immediately follow her to a room without giving you any time to Save your game first. (Incredible in this modern day and age that people still think like that...)
Pain in gaming is traditionally represented by a health/energy bar or a percentage figure. As discussed in a previous entry this "pain" can easily be eliminated by eating food or pulling on some new body armour (probably found in a conveniently close location). Modern games have begun to display pain in new ways. Examples include blurring and red haze around the outside of the screen (see Call of Duty, Gears of War etc). In these instances however the pain (from a gunshot wound for instance) will simply subside within a few seconds. Farcry 2 has an innovative pain relief system requiring a button command to halt the healthbar decline which then triggers a random animation (cue bullet being poked out of a wound, dislocated limb reset etc).
After snapping his achilles tendon GavinoX found himself resorting to the pain relief methods learned from years of hard-core gaming:
If you decide that you might want to leave the comfort of your gaming chair/sofa/bean bag for some "exercise" you might choose to do a real world version of your games. For instance, it is possible to participate in Fifa/Pro Evo inspired games of "Football". This will involve re-enacting onscreen movements, but to a much more basic and clumsy degree whilst in an open space. Whilst participating in one of these "sports" you might find that you experience pain, which a doctor will tell you is a physical version of the injuries experienced by your onscreen counterparts.
Despite your initial joy at the realism of "pulling a hamstring" you will probably soon tire of the injury and inevitably realise that re-enacting computer games is a bad idea. Whilst your onscreen player might be injured for "three weeks" this normally equates to around 20mins in "real time" but if your doctor tells you three weeks he means REAL weeks.
Additionally, your onscreen athletes don't have the inconvenience of 6hrs waiting in the hospital Emergency Room for the diagnosis, surrounded by screaming children and people carelessly passing out and spreading their blood liberally on the furniture.
GavinoX took his Nintendo DS along but was unhappy to be disturbed by a nurse at a key moment.
GavinoX would like to issue the following warning: Telling a nurse that you will "be there in a minute" is frowned upon in the Emergency Room environment. Despite the fact you have waited 6hrs the nurse will expect you to immediately follow her to a room without giving you any time to Save your game first. (Incredible in this modern day and age that people still think like that...)
Pain in gaming is traditionally represented by a health/energy bar or a percentage figure. As discussed in a previous entry this "pain" can easily be eliminated by eating food or pulling on some new body armour (probably found in a conveniently close location). Modern games have begun to display pain in new ways. Examples include blurring and red haze around the outside of the screen (see Call of Duty, Gears of War etc). In these instances however the pain (from a gunshot wound for instance) will simply subside within a few seconds. Farcry 2 has an innovative pain relief system requiring a button command to halt the healthbar decline which then triggers a random animation (cue bullet being poked out of a wound, dislocated limb reset etc).
After snapping his achilles tendon GavinoX found himself resorting to the pain relief methods learned from years of hard-core gaming:
- find an apple/joint of meat
- put on some body armour
- wait and recover
- cast a healing spell
Having procured an apple almose immediately I can reveal that Apples are ineffective pain relievers. Searching the local area failed to locate any body armour and waiting for some to respawn seemed to be taking ages so this idea will have to remain untested. Sitting and waiting for the pain to subside in 30seconds time had minimal effect on the pain levels. In desperation I turned to a healing spell, but having never uncovered a scroll in my lifetime I was forced to make one up. Quickly issuing an on-the-spot spell GavinoX made the following incantation: "Ouch ouch my ankle hurts, ouch ouch you men in shirts, save me from this pain, before my language becomes more profane and I end up lame!"
The spell had no effect.
With the pain reaching intolerable levels (more painful even than the RSI incurred from a 24hour race on Gran Turismo) an incredible thing happened, adrenalin kicked in and the pain slowly dribbled away.
Now how can someone put that into a game?
Friday 20 March 2009
Staring down the barrel of defeat
"Shall we just try it again?"
"No mate, i'm still holding the line,"
"He's going after my command centre, i've only got a couple of units left,"
"Retreat back behind my defenses, start again, I'll hold 'em"
And with that immortal exchange the elaborate EMP defense turrets of the USA Aircraft General became the lynchpin of a two hour long struggle to turn the tide against two computer controlled opponents set to the hardest difficulty in a grand skirmish.
Reeling from losing the last of his mobile units and outranged by Scud launchers my ally The Machine retreated his remnants behind the outer line of Patriots and started anew. Quickly building supply gatherers and a barracks while the enemy waves crashed against the rocks of a defense akin to a two deep staggered Pawn line in chess.
"Warning, enemy Scud Storm detected"
Silence.
"O-oh. Mate we're in big trouble"
"I can't destroy it, we'll have to hope it hits somewhere soft"
The enemy AI was smart enough to pin the forward defenses with wave after wave of tanks and troop attacks while faster and more mobile Scorpion tanks probed the weakened right flank. Like the robots in the Matrix attacking Zion, they'd found our weak point and were directing their efforts at our soft underbelly.
The Machine's multitasking allowed him to create a modicum of defensive troops while I concentrated the defensive firepower to maximise it's effect. The recruiting of three commanche's stemmed the flow just as they threatened our weak point.
Frustrated in his construction efforts The Machine recruited a meat shield of AK-47 troops and posted them across the enemy line of advance. Breathing space bought he expanded eastwards and outwards.
"Warning enemy Scud Storm launched"
Silence.
"Unit lost"
"Unit lost"
"Unit lost"
"Where did he drop it?"
"He's taken out my war factory, we're in trouble, power's gone too"
All turrets were out of action, the radar went blank, only a paper thin line of light vehicles and a fortified garrison in a farm building stood between a catastrophe and respite.
A sickly lull in the fighting... waiting for the enemy to swarm out of the fog of war... I'm scrolling around my defenses frantically... The Machine starts to bring over the remains of his meat shield.
This could be it...
"Warning enemy Nuclear Missile Silo detected" our troubles are compounded.
My mind wanders for a second "Why do Americans pronounce it MISS-EL when it's clearly MISS-SILE?"
Then click, fuzz, hummmmm and the power is back online.
Just in time as the enemy chinese Battle Master tanks arrive. Once again the defenses are effective and the tide of the battle starts to turn as The Machine reaches full fighting strength once again. Then my Particle Cannon goes online.
Rolling back the enemy who almost wiped him out The Machine launches his attack on the Sam Missile defenses of the AI GLA.
I call in a quartet of Stealth Fighters to assist alongside A-10 general powers and a couple of medic vehicles.
"We've got him now" predicts the Machine confidently.
Now our defenses are immune to the Chinese assaults and two Particle Cannons coupled with Spectre Gunship attacks are destroying the Chinese power grid. With it's defenses silenced and no more Nuke strikes the end is nigh. Smelling blood the Machine switches to his focus to the Chinese base.
With his power down and multiple airstrikes from stealth fighters swooping in the Chinese base quickly crumbles and HARD ARMY IS DEFEATED.
The rest of the mopping up takes less than a couple of minutes as The Machine completes the comeback with a Coup-de-grace, silencing the GLA command centre with TWO simultaneously launched Scud Storms.
HARD ARMY IS DEFEATED.
"Congratulations commander, you are victorious"
"Nice one mate, it's well past midnight, I'm done, speak to your tomorrow"
"Ok, cheers mate"
QUIT
Are you sure you want to quit?
Yes.
"No mate, i'm still holding the line,"
"He's going after my command centre, i've only got a couple of units left,"
"Retreat back behind my defenses, start again, I'll hold 'em"
And with that immortal exchange the elaborate EMP defense turrets of the USA Aircraft General became the lynchpin of a two hour long struggle to turn the tide against two computer controlled opponents set to the hardest difficulty in a grand skirmish.
Reeling from losing the last of his mobile units and outranged by Scud launchers my ally The Machine retreated his remnants behind the outer line of Patriots and started anew. Quickly building supply gatherers and a barracks while the enemy waves crashed against the rocks of a defense akin to a two deep staggered Pawn line in chess.
"Warning, enemy Scud Storm detected"
Silence.
"O-oh. Mate we're in big trouble"
"I can't destroy it, we'll have to hope it hits somewhere soft"
The enemy AI was smart enough to pin the forward defenses with wave after wave of tanks and troop attacks while faster and more mobile Scorpion tanks probed the weakened right flank. Like the robots in the Matrix attacking Zion, they'd found our weak point and were directing their efforts at our soft underbelly.
The Machine's multitasking allowed him to create a modicum of defensive troops while I concentrated the defensive firepower to maximise it's effect. The recruiting of three commanche's stemmed the flow just as they threatened our weak point.
Frustrated in his construction efforts The Machine recruited a meat shield of AK-47 troops and posted them across the enemy line of advance. Breathing space bought he expanded eastwards and outwards.
"Warning enemy Scud Storm launched"
Silence.
"Unit lost"
"Unit lost"
"Unit lost"
"Where did he drop it?"
"He's taken out my war factory, we're in trouble, power's gone too"
All turrets were out of action, the radar went blank, only a paper thin line of light vehicles and a fortified garrison in a farm building stood between a catastrophe and respite.
A sickly lull in the fighting... waiting for the enemy to swarm out of the fog of war... I'm scrolling around my defenses frantically... The Machine starts to bring over the remains of his meat shield.
This could be it...
"Warning enemy Nuclear Missile Silo detected" our troubles are compounded.
My mind wanders for a second "Why do Americans pronounce it MISS-EL when it's clearly MISS-SILE?"
Then click, fuzz, hummmmm and the power is back online.
Just in time as the enemy chinese Battle Master tanks arrive. Once again the defenses are effective and the tide of the battle starts to turn as The Machine reaches full fighting strength once again. Then my Particle Cannon goes online.
Rolling back the enemy who almost wiped him out The Machine launches his attack on the Sam Missile defenses of the AI GLA.
I call in a quartet of Stealth Fighters to assist alongside A-10 general powers and a couple of medic vehicles.
"We've got him now" predicts the Machine confidently.
Now our defenses are immune to the Chinese assaults and two Particle Cannons coupled with Spectre Gunship attacks are destroying the Chinese power grid. With it's defenses silenced and no more Nuke strikes the end is nigh. Smelling blood the Machine switches to his focus to the Chinese base.
With his power down and multiple airstrikes from stealth fighters swooping in the Chinese base quickly crumbles and HARD ARMY IS DEFEATED.
The rest of the mopping up takes less than a couple of minutes as The Machine completes the comeback with a Coup-de-grace, silencing the GLA command centre with TWO simultaneously launched Scud Storms.
HARD ARMY IS DEFEATED.
"Congratulations commander, you are victorious"
"Nice one mate, it's well past midnight, I'm done, speak to your tomorrow"
"Ok, cheers mate"
QUIT
Are you sure you want to quit?
Yes.
Monday 2 March 2009
The History of Control-Pads
I've recently published some new articles over at www.gamerlimit.com.
Most people don't spend much time thinking about the plastic thing in their hands, they just interact with it intuitively.... apart from GavinoX, I think about everything.
Many gaming prophets laud the coming of the Wii as the dawning of Total Immersion Gaming, others hold their wired controllers close to their chests and complain at the rise of “Casual gaming.” What is clear however, is that in the gaming ascent of man, we might not yet be standing upright… but we have come a very long way.
Please click here for the full article
Most people don't spend much time thinking about the plastic thing in their hands, they just interact with it intuitively.... apart from GavinoX, I think about everything.
Many gaming prophets laud the coming of the Wii as the dawning of Total Immersion Gaming, others hold their wired controllers close to their chests and complain at the rise of “Casual gaming.” What is clear however, is that in the gaming ascent of man, we might not yet be standing upright… but we have come a very long way.
Please click here for the full article
Friday 13 February 2009
Ric Flair Vs Bear
Just saw this and thought I'd post it. Ric Flair / Command & Conquer Red Alert video. Made Gavinox chuckle.
Flair Vs Bear
And Part two
Flair Vs Bear
And Part two
Saturday 7 February 2009
Love Screen shots?
I am pleased to say that I now write for www.gamerlimit.com, an excellent site dedicated to console gaming and bringing fresh news and interesting articles. I hope to see you all over there sometime (but i'll still be posting on my blog so don't touch that mouse).
Here's a screen shot I took a while ago whilst having a blast on the brilliant Battlefield 2. Thought I'd share it.
Get two childish gamers, one "attack here" instruction and smoke, lay down, look like you're leaking brown gas out of your backside. Also there's a TRIPLE TEAMKILL being reported. I loved the Blue on Blue element of BF2, artillery was so destructive, to both sides!
This got me thinking about other screenshots I might have hidden away somewhere and I quickly came across these:
My buddy in arms, the mighty Machinet took offence to the comments of one particular flyboy and staged a brilliant "protest".
The very essence of BF2, a convoy roles out of base. It's worth noting that this convoy would have been completely spur of the moment and completely unforced by the gameplay.
"Honey, where did we park the chopper?"
Ever the masters of disguise and camouflage, this particular soldier adopts the "Scarecrow Camo" approach. Actually this was a rare glitch in the game that made him run around with his arms straight out like a child pretending to be an aeroplane.
Speaking of planes, (and helicopters for that matter) pilots would sometimes eject without letting the passengers know, dooming the less observant (i.e gunners) to a brief encounter with the ground. This led to this excellent poster from the Ministry of Defence...
Finally, just for variety... have you ever felt like you weren't alone? Like someone was watching you? My Sims did.... and they were right.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading, I'll see you all on the Battlefield soldier!
Gavinox
UNOFFICIAL RULES OF GAMING #3: Secret Doors and destructible walls are a slightly different colour to their surroundings....
Here's a screen shot I took a while ago whilst having a blast on the brilliant Battlefield 2. Thought I'd share it.
Get two childish gamers, one "attack here" instruction and smoke, lay down, look like you're leaking brown gas out of your backside. Also there's a TRIPLE TEAMKILL being reported. I loved the Blue on Blue element of BF2, artillery was so destructive, to both sides!
This got me thinking about other screenshots I might have hidden away somewhere and I quickly came across these:
My buddy in arms, the mighty Machinet took offence to the comments of one particular flyboy and staged a brilliant "protest".
The very essence of BF2, a convoy roles out of base. It's worth noting that this convoy would have been completely spur of the moment and completely unforced by the gameplay.
"Honey, where did we park the chopper?"
Ever the masters of disguise and camouflage, this particular soldier adopts the "Scarecrow Camo" approach. Actually this was a rare glitch in the game that made him run around with his arms straight out like a child pretending to be an aeroplane.
Speaking of planes, (and helicopters for that matter) pilots would sometimes eject without letting the passengers know, dooming the less observant (i.e gunners) to a brief encounter with the ground. This led to this excellent poster from the Ministry of Defence...
Finally, just for variety... have you ever felt like you weren't alone? Like someone was watching you? My Sims did.... and they were right.
That's all for now. Thanks for reading, I'll see you all on the Battlefield soldier!
Gavinox
UNOFFICIAL RULES OF GAMING #3: Secret Doors and destructible walls are a slightly different colour to their surroundings....
Tuesday 3 February 2009
Little Gems
Some games just don't get the success they deserve...
I've played a few games over the years, as I'm sure you have, but what are those games that truly are... special? Titles that just seem to arrive at a certain time, like a newly discovered diamond in the rough?
I'm talking about games that you think should get a little more press than they did, games that might have been released a long time ago but you'd like the world to play. The planet seems to be going game crazy, but they've missed so much. It's our responsibility as gaming dinosaurs to show them what they've missed.
Here's a few examples of games I think no true gamer should miss (in no particular order).
For the FIFA/PES generation:
Check out Sensible World of Soccer (on XboxLIVE). A true classic of substance over style. Guide your super slick little sprites around a nicely cartoonish environment with rewarding and subtle gameplay. Not graphically immense (it was orginally an Amiga game) but the gameplay is so fastpaced and subtle that it rewards persistance and excellence. Amazingly for the time it was released it featured pretty much EVERY team from EVERY league in the world. (You wanna play as a team from New Zealand? Sure go ahead no problem!).
For the modern strategist:
X-Com Enemy Unknown / UFO Earth Defense
Atmospheric and nicely presented this strategy game broke new ground for the genre. A truly memorable game that had you swimming upstream from the start. With poor weapons and terrible troops you'd be scraping enemy artifacts off the dead and legging it back to your ship before you were wiped out, but as the game progressed you'd start to research better technology and the tide would begin to turn. Eventually you'd be in a position to comfortably defend the Earth from it's invaders and launch an assault against their Mars HQ itself. Phenomenal.
For the FPS professionals:
Perfect Dark: A brilliant follow up (ish) of Rare's classic GoldenEye. How much fun can you have with shooting henchmen in the backside and watching them jump into the air rubbing away the pain? LOTS. The way that the enemy reacted to being shot was absolutely unique at the time (and still not really bettered imho). Soldiers would take a shot to the arm and run off around a courner, shouting something to there cohorts you'd next see him holding his wounded arm, or limping with leg wound.
You could also shoot weapons out of the enemy's hands. Awesome fun was to be had making a soldier chase his rifle around the floor (until he pulled his side-arm on you). Some soldiers would actually SURRENDER to you and beg you not to hurt them. I've not seen that since!
There was a fantastic weapon in the game that would turn the enemy against his own side, especially fun when you'd disarmed him! I could talk about Perfect Dark for a long time, and I'm sure I'd have no shortage of people to join me.
For the adrenalin junkie:
Afterburner. If you've not played this, or heard of it, let me fill you in. Picture this... TopGun and Tom Cruise had made the F-14 Tomcat the sexiest fighter plane in the world. You've just wandered into an arcade, a large cabinet takes your eye. It has a fighter jet joystick, a throttle and flashing warning "Lock On" lights. It's like nothing else around.
In goes your 20p...
Your F-14 sits on a carrier... "Get READY" wow! Speech! What do I need to be ready for? You take off and cruise for a bit as the LEVEL ONE indicator comes and goes... then suddenly, dots appear against the sky in the distance... incoming head-on enemy jets!? Awesome!
Before you know it wave after wave of enemy jets are hurtling straight at you as you fire missile after missile one after another and barrel roll through heatseaking missiles and close calls with the jets themselves. A real adrenalin rush. Then POW! and you're suddenly plummeting into the ground and ploughing a long firey grave.
In goes another 20p...
Well, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed it. Have a think and let me know what I've missed. There's so much... Rampage, Rock and Roll Racing, Wings, Elite, Desert Strike, Dizzy...
This post is interactive, please leave your comments on the games you'd like the gaming world to (re)discover.
Thanks for reading,
Keep nade-ing
UNOFFICIAL RULES OF GAMING # 2:
You can carry as much money around as you want, it doesn't actually weigh anything.
I've played a few games over the years, as I'm sure you have, but what are those games that truly are... special? Titles that just seem to arrive at a certain time, like a newly discovered diamond in the rough?
I'm talking about games that you think should get a little more press than they did, games that might have been released a long time ago but you'd like the world to play. The planet seems to be going game crazy, but they've missed so much. It's our responsibility as gaming dinosaurs to show them what they've missed.
Here's a few examples of games I think no true gamer should miss (in no particular order).
For the FIFA/PES generation:
Check out Sensible World of Soccer (on XboxLIVE). A true classic of substance over style. Guide your super slick little sprites around a nicely cartoonish environment with rewarding and subtle gameplay. Not graphically immense (it was orginally an Amiga game) but the gameplay is so fastpaced and subtle that it rewards persistance and excellence. Amazingly for the time it was released it featured pretty much EVERY team from EVERY league in the world. (You wanna play as a team from New Zealand? Sure go ahead no problem!).
For the modern strategist:
X-Com Enemy Unknown / UFO Earth Defense
Atmospheric and nicely presented this strategy game broke new ground for the genre. A truly memorable game that had you swimming upstream from the start. With poor weapons and terrible troops you'd be scraping enemy artifacts off the dead and legging it back to your ship before you were wiped out, but as the game progressed you'd start to research better technology and the tide would begin to turn. Eventually you'd be in a position to comfortably defend the Earth from it's invaders and launch an assault against their Mars HQ itself. Phenomenal.
For the FPS professionals:
Perfect Dark: A brilliant follow up (ish) of Rare's classic GoldenEye. How much fun can you have with shooting henchmen in the backside and watching them jump into the air rubbing away the pain? LOTS. The way that the enemy reacted to being shot was absolutely unique at the time (and still not really bettered imho). Soldiers would take a shot to the arm and run off around a courner, shouting something to there cohorts you'd next see him holding his wounded arm, or limping with leg wound.
You could also shoot weapons out of the enemy's hands. Awesome fun was to be had making a soldier chase his rifle around the floor (until he pulled his side-arm on you). Some soldiers would actually SURRENDER to you and beg you not to hurt them. I've not seen that since!
There was a fantastic weapon in the game that would turn the enemy against his own side, especially fun when you'd disarmed him! I could talk about Perfect Dark for a long time, and I'm sure I'd have no shortage of people to join me.
For the adrenalin junkie:
Afterburner. If you've not played this, or heard of it, let me fill you in. Picture this... TopGun and Tom Cruise had made the F-14 Tomcat the sexiest fighter plane in the world. You've just wandered into an arcade, a large cabinet takes your eye. It has a fighter jet joystick, a throttle and flashing warning "Lock On" lights. It's like nothing else around.
In goes your 20p...
Your F-14 sits on a carrier... "Get READY" wow! Speech! What do I need to be ready for? You take off and cruise for a bit as the LEVEL ONE indicator comes and goes... then suddenly, dots appear against the sky in the distance... incoming head-on enemy jets!? Awesome!
Before you know it wave after wave of enemy jets are hurtling straight at you as you fire missile after missile one after another and barrel roll through heatseaking missiles and close calls with the jets themselves. A real adrenalin rush. Then POW! and you're suddenly plummeting into the ground and ploughing a long firey grave.
In goes another 20p...
Well, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed it. Have a think and let me know what I've missed. There's so much... Rampage, Rock and Roll Racing, Wings, Elite, Desert Strike, Dizzy...
This post is interactive, please leave your comments on the games you'd like the gaming world to (re)discover.
Thanks for reading,
Keep nade-ing
UNOFFICIAL RULES OF GAMING # 2:
You can carry as much money around as you want, it doesn't actually weigh anything.
Tuesday 27 January 2009
To cheat or not to cheat? That is the question.
When it comes to results, some like to take short cuts.
Hello, nice of you to come back for another read. What is that? Get on with the blog you say? Surely there's no hurry? Oh, you don't have the time? You want to skip to the end first and not read all of the "boring stuff"? Crikey, you must be one of them cheaters I hear so much about!
You know the sort....
You're crouching in a nice secluded area, ambush all set up, C4 planted, like some kind of modern day tiger of the gaming jungle. Just waiting now for your prey. Then you'll strike. Fast as lightning and more deadly than a powered up Pac-man. Oh, here comes a target now.... He'll never see it coming, it's a perfect trap... Mwuhahahaha. Finger on the explosive trigger, wait just a few more seconds... I can hear him coming. BLAM BLAM!!! What the hell?!!! How the hell did he know I was there???!!! He just walking in, came round the corner and blasted me with a shotgun before tottering off again! He didn't even blink. (Sound of sobbing) My beautiful plan... all ruined....
Well, it's possible that someone had triggered a radar, UAV or something similar. Or it's possible they've hacked the game and he can see through walls!
The sick-eth sense
Yep, as amazing as this news is, it's true! Some people in the world don't want to put the effort in. Some people like to get ahead by using dis-honesty. Yep some people even enjoy the power over you, getting an advantage to make them superior. Wow, what a world we live in! (Next you'll be telling me that people have wars over religion).
Online and up to no good
Those amongst us who take cheating to the multiplayer online arena are some of the most hated people on the planet. If they all lived in a country somewhere I'm positive that a coalition of the world's armies would unite (Chinese alongside American, English alongside Argentinian) and invade it with the full and unwavering support of the UN. (The UN resolution would read something like: For crimes against the liberty loving gamers of this great planet, namely the introduction and precipitation of aimbots, the use of exploits and the use of glitches to access superior fighting positions, the league of United Nations makes it's unilateral declaration of war against Cheatsland).
It ain't fair and it's not funny to be killed from UNDERNEATH a map, or through a wall etc. Unfortunately some people decide "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" and go straight off to do the same. This is why cheating will always be a problem.
The way I look at it is this; I game for fun and wouldn't enjoy a game any more if I was cheating, however I also believe that if someone can use genuine skill to access a place (from which they can still be killed) then there is nothing wrong with that, as long as they can't see through walls or kill you with one side-ways glance that is!
Trash Talk
Hello, nice of you to come back for another read. What is that? Get on with the blog you say? Surely there's no hurry? Oh, you don't have the time? You want to skip to the end first and not read all of the "boring stuff"? Crikey, you must be one of them cheaters I hear so much about!
You know the sort....
You're crouching in a nice secluded area, ambush all set up, C4 planted, like some kind of modern day tiger of the gaming jungle. Just waiting now for your prey. Then you'll strike. Fast as lightning and more deadly than a powered up Pac-man. Oh, here comes a target now.... He'll never see it coming, it's a perfect trap... Mwuhahahaha. Finger on the explosive trigger, wait just a few more seconds... I can hear him coming. BLAM BLAM!!! What the hell?!!! How the hell did he know I was there???!!! He just walking in, came round the corner and blasted me with a shotgun before tottering off again! He didn't even blink. (Sound of sobbing) My beautiful plan... all ruined....
Well, it's possible that someone had triggered a radar, UAV or something similar. Or it's possible they've hacked the game and he can see through walls!
The sick-eth sense
Yep, as amazing as this news is, it's true! Some people in the world don't want to put the effort in. Some people like to get ahead by using dis-honesty. Yep some people even enjoy the power over you, getting an advantage to make them superior. Wow, what a world we live in! (Next you'll be telling me that people have wars over religion).
Online and up to no good
Those amongst us who take cheating to the multiplayer online arena are some of the most hated people on the planet. If they all lived in a country somewhere I'm positive that a coalition of the world's armies would unite (Chinese alongside American, English alongside Argentinian) and invade it with the full and unwavering support of the UN. (The UN resolution would read something like: For crimes against the liberty loving gamers of this great planet, namely the introduction and precipitation of aimbots, the use of exploits and the use of glitches to access superior fighting positions, the league of United Nations makes it's unilateral declaration of war against Cheatsland).
It ain't fair and it's not funny to be killed from UNDERNEATH a map, or through a wall etc. Unfortunately some people decide "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" and go straight off to do the same. This is why cheating will always be a problem.
The way I look at it is this; I game for fun and wouldn't enjoy a game any more if I was cheating, however I also believe that if someone can use genuine skill to access a place (from which they can still be killed) then there is nothing wrong with that, as long as they can't see through walls or kill you with one side-ways glance that is!
Trash Talk
One thing cheating has given rise to is this, "Hey man, there's no way you could have killed me, you must be a frickin' cheat." Ever been on the receiving end of a twitch headshot? Ever thought how the heck did he do that? He must be a cheat! Well, no, actually he was probably a) lucky or b) an expert. Let's face it, some people play games 24/7 and become pretty much at one with the joy pad. They feel a game's nuances like Neo feels the Matrix. Still, it's nice to have an excuse, saves us admitting that someone is better than us!
Do you have any cheating experiences? I'd be interested in hearing them. Post me a comment and tell the world! (Well, a few people at least!).
Thanks for reading, keep spawning...
Gavinox
Ps. Here's a quick link to see what I'm talking about http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=tJHd9_ECNOw
UNOFFICIAL RULES OF GAMING: #1 The shotgun will always be short range and powerful while pistols are deadly accurate and pathetically weak.
Thursday 22 January 2009
Punch: A button
Whilst chatting about Balrog on SFII the idea was brought up that he would be better off taking his gloves off...
Makes sense really, after all gloves are soft and would surely cusion the impact of any blows? So that's GAME OVER on that discussion then.
Thanks for reading.
.... or is it that straight forward? After a bit of googling we can discover that on average TWO boxers die from boxing related trauma every year in America alone! (Hang on, does that imply that they died without anyone around to love them?).
Apparently bare knuckle boxing is actually SAFER than the modern boxing we are accustomed too. How the heck can that be true? Well, it's simple, and you'll already be figuring this one out if you had a few punch-ups in your lifetime. Punch someone in the head with your bare fist and there's a good chance that you'll break a bone in your hand. The bones there are fairly small and with no fatty areas to cusion the impact all of the force is transmitted directly into your knuckles and wrist.
There are no known bare-knuckle fight deaths on record, primarily because they would predominatly punch each other in the body so as to avoid injury to their hands. Since the adoption of padded gloves boxers have started to concentrate on head shots which are obviously very dangerous to a human being.
So there we have it, maybe Balrog should leave his gloves on after all otherwise he would probably break his hand on someones head (and i'm betting on it being Blanka's).
It all does beg the question though, maybe all of the other characters should put on boxing gloves too!
Thanks for reading.
GavinoX
Makes sense really, after all gloves are soft and would surely cusion the impact of any blows? So that's GAME OVER on that discussion then.
Thanks for reading.
.... or is it that straight forward? After a bit of googling we can discover that on average TWO boxers die from boxing related trauma every year in America alone! (Hang on, does that imply that they died without anyone around to love them?).
Apparently bare knuckle boxing is actually SAFER than the modern boxing we are accustomed too. How the heck can that be true? Well, it's simple, and you'll already be figuring this one out if you had a few punch-ups in your lifetime. Punch someone in the head with your bare fist and there's a good chance that you'll break a bone in your hand. The bones there are fairly small and with no fatty areas to cusion the impact all of the force is transmitted directly into your knuckles and wrist.
There are no known bare-knuckle fight deaths on record, primarily because they would predominatly punch each other in the body so as to avoid injury to their hands. Since the adoption of padded gloves boxers have started to concentrate on head shots which are obviously very dangerous to a human being.
So there we have it, maybe Balrog should leave his gloves on after all otherwise he would probably break his hand on someones head (and i'm betting on it being Blanka's).
It all does beg the question though, maybe all of the other characters should put on boxing gloves too!
Thanks for reading.
GavinoX
Tuesday 20 January 2009
Cheats never prosper (but they do have more fun)
Why cheating is fun.
Since the beginning of time man hath cheated, bent the rules, lied, stolen and generally been a bit naughty. Just look at the story of Adam & Eve. The forbidden fruit is impossible to resist. Not that I'm religious or anything, as much as I like the idea of Christ coming back to life after death on the cross, I simply believe that it wasn't divine intervention; he just put another couple of ten pence pieces in the slot and hit CONTINUE before the countdown got to zero (from ten of course).
Indeed reincarnation (or RESPAWNING as it's called nowadays) is also plausible.
Anyway, I digress somewhat. Back to cheating. We've all done it. I remember hiding my pink £500 note under the Monopoly board and pleading with my mum for cheaper rates when landing on their properties "it's all I have!" and then whipping out the note at the first chance of buying a train station.
My first gaming cheats involved typing codes onto C64 keyboards while the game was paused. Infinite lives were a staple cheat back then. My appetite would be whetted by weekly doses of Games Master on TV where a computer enhanced astronomer would dish out vicious insult laced cheats to pathetic kids (like me). "Games Master, I am stuck on the second level of James Pond 2 Robocod can you help me?" "Oh dear" would come his reply "you are a pathetic creature aren't you? Alright, here is a level select cheat..." and he'd deliver the cheat code. I'd scribble it down and be upstairs trying it out within seconds of the final credits.
Some memorable cheats include A-B-R-A-C-A-D-A-B-R-A (Chuck Rock on the Mega-Drive) which was "A" button, "B" button, d-pad right etc. (you get the gist) and for some reason I still remember the regain a life cheat for Icari Warriors on the NES; up-down-left-right-A-B-B-A.
I think that cheats were originally ways for developers and programmers to test game play and as such there evolved into some pretty powerful cheats that could change a games code itself. For example, there was a cheat on Sonic The Hedgehog where you could change Sonic into any of the sprites in the game (e.g. a spring, bad-guy, TV etc.) and place it on the screen. Then you could change back to sonic and continue.
Eventually the demand for cheating led to innovations such as the Action Replay Cartridge. This brilliantly would let you enter a code so as to alter game code. This powerful piece of kit on the N64 allowed myself and my buddies to unlock many hours of multiplayer on previously unplayable multiplayer maps on GoldenEye. Anyone for 4-player Cradle? (It would run at a terrible frame rate but the novelty never wore off!)
I can't go on with mentioning the Hot-Coffee cheat for Grand Theft Auto. It unlocked a feature that wasn't even officially known about by the actual developers, who then had to halt production and re-release the game without the code. Brilliant.
So cheating has gone from humble beginnings of Infinite Lives and Level Selectors right through to unlocking features of a game that nobody should have ever seen.
Cheating can be good then.
Soon I'll post a little something about when cheating isn't a good thing (and when it's an absolutely terrible thing). After all, there can be no Ying without Yang.
Thanks for reading, hope to see you again soon. In the mean time, please post a comment on your favourite cheat, anecdotes on cheating, or if you have it; the cheat for infinite lives on Wonder Boy.
Happy head-shots,
GavinoX
Extra bonus points will be awarded for anyone who can remember the location of the first warp jump pipes in Super Mario on the NES.
Since the beginning of time man hath cheated, bent the rules, lied, stolen and generally been a bit naughty. Just look at the story of Adam & Eve. The forbidden fruit is impossible to resist. Not that I'm religious or anything, as much as I like the idea of Christ coming back to life after death on the cross, I simply believe that it wasn't divine intervention; he just put another couple of ten pence pieces in the slot and hit CONTINUE before the countdown got to zero (from ten of course).
Indeed reincarnation (or RESPAWNING as it's called nowadays) is also plausible.
Anyway, I digress somewhat. Back to cheating. We've all done it. I remember hiding my pink £500 note under the Monopoly board and pleading with my mum for cheaper rates when landing on their properties "it's all I have!" and then whipping out the note at the first chance of buying a train station.
My first gaming cheats involved typing codes onto C64 keyboards while the game was paused. Infinite lives were a staple cheat back then. My appetite would be whetted by weekly doses of Games Master on TV where a computer enhanced astronomer would dish out vicious insult laced cheats to pathetic kids (like me). "Games Master, I am stuck on the second level of James Pond 2 Robocod can you help me?" "Oh dear" would come his reply "you are a pathetic creature aren't you? Alright, here is a level select cheat..." and he'd deliver the cheat code. I'd scribble it down and be upstairs trying it out within seconds of the final credits.
Some memorable cheats include A-B-R-A-C-A-D-A-B-R-A (Chuck Rock on the Mega-Drive) which was "A" button, "B" button, d-pad right etc. (you get the gist) and for some reason I still remember the regain a life cheat for Icari Warriors on the NES; up-down-left-right-A-B-B-A.
I think that cheats were originally ways for developers and programmers to test game play and as such there evolved into some pretty powerful cheats that could change a games code itself. For example, there was a cheat on Sonic The Hedgehog where you could change Sonic into any of the sprites in the game (e.g. a spring, bad-guy, TV etc.) and place it on the screen. Then you could change back to sonic and continue.
Eventually the demand for cheating led to innovations such as the Action Replay Cartridge. This brilliantly would let you enter a code so as to alter game code. This powerful piece of kit on the N64 allowed myself and my buddies to unlock many hours of multiplayer on previously unplayable multiplayer maps on GoldenEye. Anyone for 4-player Cradle? (It would run at a terrible frame rate but the novelty never wore off!)
I can't go on with mentioning the Hot-Coffee cheat for Grand Theft Auto. It unlocked a feature that wasn't even officially known about by the actual developers, who then had to halt production and re-release the game without the code. Brilliant.
So cheating has gone from humble beginnings of Infinite Lives and Level Selectors right through to unlocking features of a game that nobody should have ever seen.
Cheating can be good then.
Soon I'll post a little something about when cheating isn't a good thing (and when it's an absolutely terrible thing). After all, there can be no Ying without Yang.
Thanks for reading, hope to see you again soon. In the mean time, please post a comment on your favourite cheat, anecdotes on cheating, or if you have it; the cheat for infinite lives on Wonder Boy.
Happy head-shots,
GavinoX
Extra bonus points will be awarded for anyone who can remember the location of the first warp jump pipes in Super Mario on the NES.
Monday 19 January 2009
Assassins creed ending explained.
Hello again and thanks for reading.
This is just a quick post. I was thinking about the ending to Assassins Creed, all that stuff on the walls etc. At the time I must admit I didn't spend too long trying to suss it out, but luckily (as is the way with the internet) someone else has done all the thinking for me!
http://www.computerandvideogames.com/article.php?id=175552
I must admit that it's a brilliant amount of work and I'm very impressed. Sometimes game endings leave a little to be desired and it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth, but sometimes something different comes along and it makes a nice warm feeling in my belly. (A bit like a chicken jalfrezi).
I wonder if you remember the final stage of Double Dragon? (Two player). You'd fight your way as a team through all of the tough levels, helping each other out, sharing weapons etc. Finally you defeat the big boss and the girl is waiting to be swept off her feet, then you realise, "who gets the girl???" All of a sudden you're pitched into combat AGAINST the other player! A simple but brilliant twist.
Another cracking ending is Call of Duty 4. Absolutely loved it! I won't ruin it for those that haven't played it through (you should, it's awesome) but it's very tense and also a bit sad. Nice switch in the game play mechanic and a lovely dramatic turnaround.
I've done a few quick searches and found that the general concensus seems to be "Assassin's Creed's ending sucks!" and that it's a bit too much of a "bet you want to see what happens in Assassin's Creed 2 now don't you!" type ending. But it's got so much depth and so much thought has gone into it, I think it's a cracker.
Ryan Lambie has written a good article here about poor video game endings:
http://www.denofgeek.com/captainsblog/66133/the_ryan_lambie_column_rubbish_videogame_endings.html
And for balance, here is an article from C+VG on the best endings:
http://www.computerandvideogames.com/article.php?id=155203
Any more memories of good/bad game endings that have stuck in your mind? Post them as a comment below! There are some absolutely hilarious game endings on youtube you might want to check out. Search for "Lame Video game endings" etc...
Look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for reading.
Gavinox
This is just a quick post. I was thinking about the ending to Assassins Creed, all that stuff on the walls etc. At the time I must admit I didn't spend too long trying to suss it out, but luckily (as is the way with the internet) someone else has done all the thinking for me!
http://www.computerandvideogames.com/article.php?id=175552
I must admit that it's a brilliant amount of work and I'm very impressed. Sometimes game endings leave a little to be desired and it leaves a bitter taste in the mouth, but sometimes something different comes along and it makes a nice warm feeling in my belly. (A bit like a chicken jalfrezi).
I wonder if you remember the final stage of Double Dragon? (Two player). You'd fight your way as a team through all of the tough levels, helping each other out, sharing weapons etc. Finally you defeat the big boss and the girl is waiting to be swept off her feet, then you realise, "who gets the girl???" All of a sudden you're pitched into combat AGAINST the other player! A simple but brilliant twist.
Another cracking ending is Call of Duty 4. Absolutely loved it! I won't ruin it for those that haven't played it through (you should, it's awesome) but it's very tense and also a bit sad. Nice switch in the game play mechanic and a lovely dramatic turnaround.
I've done a few quick searches and found that the general concensus seems to be "Assassin's Creed's ending sucks!" and that it's a bit too much of a "bet you want to see what happens in Assassin's Creed 2 now don't you!" type ending. But it's got so much depth and so much thought has gone into it, I think it's a cracker.
Ryan Lambie has written a good article here about poor video game endings:
http://www.denofgeek.com/captainsblog/66133/the_ryan_lambie_column_rubbish_videogame_endings.html
And for balance, here is an article from C+VG on the best endings:
http://www.computerandvideogames.com/article.php?id=155203
Any more memories of good/bad game endings that have stuck in your mind? Post them as a comment below! There are some absolutely hilarious game endings on youtube you might want to check out. Search for "Lame Video game endings" etc...
Look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for reading.
Gavinox
Friday 16 January 2009
Things that games tought me....
Here is something random that gaming has taught me over the years...
If you are injured in a fight or shot or burnt by fire or by falling/jumping from a height, simply eat an apple or roast meal or put on a fresh set of body armour. This will instantly make you feel fine, as if you hadn't even been injured in the first place.
But where would you locate said items at short notice?
Apples and roast meals can often be found by knocking over dust bins, smashing telephone boxes or in chests lying around the place. Who leaves these items (and in the case of perishables, regularly re-supplies them to keep them fresh) is completely beyond my comprehension but I suspect that they are very quick and stealthy as you will NEVER see them do it. I suspect those little guys that show up from time to time in GoldenAxe. You remember them, the little chaps with the sacks on their backs who get serious abuse in the daily undertaking of their job.
There is evidence that they sometimes bunk off early however, sometimes you'll find that they have dumped their wares in hidden, hard to find places, like round obscure corners of buildings or behind piles of rubble.
Abuse in the workplace.
I'm not sure I'd find it very easy to get up in the morning knowing that I would be kicked repeatedly by dwarves and prodded with swords by warrior women, but hey, I’m not an elf (gnome? munchkin???) Maybe they should have some body armour handy (not to be worn during the attack, oh no, you should put it on AFTERWARDS to ensure you get the full benefit!).
Body armour is a particularly effective method for curing wounds incurred from all sorts of injuries; bullets, fire, car crashes etc. It's amazing how that little "zzzzip" can make you feel better.
I think the makers of body armour are missing a trick here, maybe they should market it more widely?
"Not feeling very well? Try new Maxo-Armour, one zip and you'll be fit!"
They could have vending machines that sell armour in likely places of injury, such as at the bottom of ski-slopes and at busy road junctions. They'd make a fortune.
There's gold in them their trash cans!
Also sometimes you can find items of wealth in similar places, often just lying around. Make sure you look in dark corners and behind random walls/doors. I've lost count of how many times I’ve been walking down the high-street turned down a dark alley, knocked over a bin and found some gold bars/coins etc.
Anyway, I'm off to kick some small people and knock over some bins. goodbye for now.
(For further information on this subject please refer to the following teaching resources; GoldenAxe, GTA, Goldenye, Streets of Rage etc.)
If you are injured in a fight or shot or burnt by fire or by falling/jumping from a height, simply eat an apple or roast meal or put on a fresh set of body armour. This will instantly make you feel fine, as if you hadn't even been injured in the first place.
But where would you locate said items at short notice?
Apples and roast meals can often be found by knocking over dust bins, smashing telephone boxes or in chests lying around the place. Who leaves these items (and in the case of perishables, regularly re-supplies them to keep them fresh) is completely beyond my comprehension but I suspect that they are very quick and stealthy as you will NEVER see them do it. I suspect those little guys that show up from time to time in GoldenAxe. You remember them, the little chaps with the sacks on their backs who get serious abuse in the daily undertaking of their job.
There is evidence that they sometimes bunk off early however, sometimes you'll find that they have dumped their wares in hidden, hard to find places, like round obscure corners of buildings or behind piles of rubble.
Abuse in the workplace.
I'm not sure I'd find it very easy to get up in the morning knowing that I would be kicked repeatedly by dwarves and prodded with swords by warrior women, but hey, I’m not an elf (gnome? munchkin???) Maybe they should have some body armour handy (not to be worn during the attack, oh no, you should put it on AFTERWARDS to ensure you get the full benefit!).
Body armour is a particularly effective method for curing wounds incurred from all sorts of injuries; bullets, fire, car crashes etc. It's amazing how that little "zzzzip" can make you feel better.
I think the makers of body armour are missing a trick here, maybe they should market it more widely?
"Not feeling very well? Try new Maxo-Armour, one zip and you'll be fit!"
They could have vending machines that sell armour in likely places of injury, such as at the bottom of ski-slopes and at busy road junctions. They'd make a fortune.
There's gold in them their trash cans!
Also sometimes you can find items of wealth in similar places, often just lying around. Make sure you look in dark corners and behind random walls/doors. I've lost count of how many times I’ve been walking down the high-street turned down a dark alley, knocked over a bin and found some gold bars/coins etc.
Anyway, I'm off to kick some small people and knock over some bins. goodbye for now.
(For further information on this subject please refer to the following teaching resources; GoldenAxe, GTA, Goldenye, Streets of Rage etc.)
Thursday 15 January 2009
How to use your Gaming Knowledge
Being a bit of a gamer over the years has taught me a few things....
Road Safety:
1. Smash you car up as much as you like. It'll keep working until smoke starts to billow from under the bonnet. When this happens you should exit the vehicle immediately (even if you are in the middle of a busy road). If you continue to use the vehicle the you will soon see flames replacing the smoke; this means that the vehicle will explode shortly and you really should exit the vehicle to avoid injury/death.
2. If you roll your vehicle onto it's roof you might find that it will shortly start to billow smoke and the fire from the bonnet, see above.
3. If you don't have a car, just get in and drive the nearest one you can see. Car keys will always be left in the ignition. It's a bit like the public bicycles they have in Holland.
4. A badly damaged car will be fine after a re-spray.
5. Cars do not work in water.
6. Power sliding is the quickest way round a corner.
7. No vehicles use fuel, it's just a capitalist lie. You can drive your vehicle for as long as you like until it starts to smoke. (See point number 1 above)
8. Driving tests are not required, everyone can drive a vehicle. Controls will always take the following format: one button for FORWARD, one button for STOPPING & REVERSING, one button for STOPPING FASTER AND HELPING SKIDDING and one button to HELP YOU LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER.
9. Head on collisions are rarely fatal.
10. Traffic Lights are purely ornamental.
For more detailed case studies please use the following instructional interactive media: GTA, Ridge Racer, Battlefield etc.
See you next time.
GavinoX
Road Safety:
1. Smash you car up as much as you like. It'll keep working until smoke starts to billow from under the bonnet. When this happens you should exit the vehicle immediately (even if you are in the middle of a busy road). If you continue to use the vehicle the you will soon see flames replacing the smoke; this means that the vehicle will explode shortly and you really should exit the vehicle to avoid injury/death.
2. If you roll your vehicle onto it's roof you might find that it will shortly start to billow smoke and the fire from the bonnet, see above.
3. If you don't have a car, just get in and drive the nearest one you can see. Car keys will always be left in the ignition. It's a bit like the public bicycles they have in Holland.
4. A badly damaged car will be fine after a re-spray.
5. Cars do not work in water.
6. Power sliding is the quickest way round a corner.
7. No vehicles use fuel, it's just a capitalist lie. You can drive your vehicle for as long as you like until it starts to smoke. (See point number 1 above)
8. Driving tests are not required, everyone can drive a vehicle. Controls will always take the following format: one button for FORWARD, one button for STOPPING & REVERSING, one button for STOPPING FASTER AND HELPING SKIDDING and one button to HELP YOU LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDER.
9. Head on collisions are rarely fatal.
10. Traffic Lights are purely ornamental.
For more detailed case studies please use the following instructional interactive media: GTA, Ridge Racer, Battlefield etc.
See you next time.
GavinoX
Breaking the seal (not the marine creature)
Hello and thanks for reading!
Ok, let's get admissions out in the open; I’m brand shiny new to blogging. However, I like to think that I have a few things in my head that are well worth listening to (or reading in this case!).
Firstly I'd like to make a few pledges:
1, The Interesting Gaming Blog will be free from typing, spelling and grammatical error.
2, This blog will feature interesting and amusing thoughts and comments.
3, You will enjoy reading it as much as I will enjoy writing it!
4, I will keep the use of exclamation marks to a minimum.
5, Subjects I will cover will include: gaming (of all kinds), interesting facts and thoughts, some football and anything else that will be interesting/amusing.
I'm off to think about what to write first, while I do; make yourself a cup of tea and I'll be back before you know it.
Gavino X
Ok, let's get admissions out in the open; I’m brand shiny new to blogging. However, I like to think that I have a few things in my head that are well worth listening to (or reading in this case!).
Firstly I'd like to make a few pledges:
1, The Interesting Gaming Blog will be free from typing, spelling and grammatical error.
2, This blog will feature interesting and amusing thoughts and comments.
3, You will enjoy reading it as much as I will enjoy writing it!
4, I will keep the use of exclamation marks to a minimum.
5, Subjects I will cover will include: gaming (of all kinds), interesting facts and thoughts, some football and anything else that will be interesting/amusing.
I'm off to think about what to write first, while I do; make yourself a cup of tea and I'll be back before you know it.
Gavino X
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